Supercorp Sweet Potatoes
by Taoiseach MacCraith
Summary: Happy Holidays Supercorp Supporters! Lena and Kara ship sweet potatoes and each other. The show will suck itself into oblivion but a Luthor and a Super will never die. Keep up the good fight!


Inside the _**Dare2Defy Super Vegetarian Cafe**_ , CEO Lena Luthor sits in a corner booth with reporter and more than BFF, Kara Danvers. They are all smiles as they check out the menu.

"This looks absolutely mouthwatering, Kara, thank you for taking me here."

"It's all the rage on the Internet, it even got a write-up in the New York Times."

"Impressive!"

"Of course, Lena, anything for my sister-friend."

"Do you take all of your other sister-friends here?"

"No, I have never invited Alex or any of my other besties here… you're the only one."

"You make me feel special."

"That's because you are."

The two begin to bite their own lips when the irked head waiter rushes over and slams down the menus on the table.

"Ladies, ladies… stop that… hello, what can I get for you?"

"What do you recommend?"

"Well, we have a caramel-glazed ham buffet, all-you-can-eat smoked sausage, and an extra large charcuterie platter."

Lena quirks an eyebrow.

"Wait a minute, the name of your cafe highly suggests that you are a vegetarian establishment?"

"Super Vegetarian, yes."

"Then, why are you pushing so much meat at us?"

"Meat and cheese."

"Right, do you not have any vegetables?"

"Of course."

"Why aren't you serving them?"

"Because, we don't want to offend the meat eaters out there."

"Then, you should change your cafe into a sports bar."

Kara chuckles.

"Take it from a journalist and my CEO sister-friend here, learn how to properly target your consumer-slash-audience."

Lena chimes in.

"And, there are plenty of steakhouses out there to choose from, we can't have one little vegetarian cafe?"

The pissed off head waiter is gnashing his teeth as he reads from a prepared statement.

"Dare2Defy does its best to satisfy all of its customers."

"Hmm, Dare2Defy… are you trying to be avant-garde with your menu offerings or is your name simply hollow sloganeering?"

"Look, what do you want to order, ma'am?"

Both Lena and Kara simper.

"We want the secret Supercorp sweet potatoes, please."

"We hear it's the best thing on the menu that's officially not on the menu."

The head waiter snatches back the menus and sighs.

"Of course you want those, everyone does."

He hurries off as another waiter who looks exactly like Winn Schott ambles over to their table with a basket in his hands.

"Breadsticks… breadsticks… how about some warm breadsticks, ladies?"

Both women look right through him. Kara yawns and answers.

"You mean, stale, empty carbs?"

"I can serenade you in Italian?"

Lena waves him off.

"No, grazie."

The Winn waiter is crestfallen.

"I had to try."

"Move along, bro."

"First, I would like to be recognized for trying."

"Are you for real?"

"Yeah, I think I deserve some credit for trying."

"You know, if you are asking for credit, then you haven't earned it or learned it."

The Winn waiter pulls out his phone and bends down between them.

"Fine, may I please get a smiling selfie with you two, at least?"

"For what?"

"To get people to like me again."

He snaps the pic and starts to walk away.

"Oh, word to the wise, stay away from the burrito here."

As he departs, the bartender who looks suspiciously like Alex Danvers stops by to chat.

"I think you girls need something from the top shelf."

Lena checks out the drink menu.

"We're more in the mood for something light and fruity."

The bartender rolls her eyes.

"Should have known."

Kara interjects.

"Besides, women metabolize alcohol differently then men, and leading them to believe they can down hard liquor just like a dude is setting them up for serious health issues in the future… I wrote an article about it last month."

The bartender gapes at the blonde and then to the brunette.

"Wow, she's a buzzkill."

"Yes, but she's my adorable buzzkill."

Lena pulls Kara into an affectionate embrace. The bartender immediately separates them.

"Whoa, you two need to read that sign over there!"

She points to a large, neon plaque on the wall. It reads: LGBT MAX OCCUPANCY 1

"So, you are only allowed to have one queer couple in here at a time?"

"Pretty much… this cafe was full of them not too long ago when we were serving Kit-Kat soufflés and fish tacos."

"What happened?"

"The pastry chef decided to stay at the Los Angeles location and that knocked the soufflé off the main menu, it's a seasonal item, at best."

"That's too bad, what about the fish tacos?"

"They were a hit, at first, but then they became too bland, almost like a fast-food taco, instead of spicing it up, the chef decided to chuck it in the trash."

"What an idiot!"

"Now, we only serve a little grey fish filet drowning in a bourbon sauce."

"That sounds very unappetizing."

"It is, we recently tried pairing it with a burnt quail egg for a pop-up event but it didn't fly."

"Ha."

"I told the chef it would go really well with the sweet potatoes but good luck trying something obvious around here."

"Any other suggestions?"

"The Reign roulade is decent but it comes with a side of annoying child, and the Martian brown water is quenching, but neither can hold a candle to the sweet potatoes."

"How sad that a business with a potential platinum mine chooses to ignore it out of fear and regression."

The bartender peers around the corner and then whispers to them.

"Oh, and another thing, the meat distributor is banging the hostess, so learn to like the ham as long as they're a couple."

"Pffttt, great."

"Here comes your sweet potatoes, enjoy!"

The bartender does a backflip out the window as the head waiter rushes by and throws a bowl down on the table. Lena and Kara stare at it and cry out in unison.

"It's empty!"

"They're imaginary sweet potatoes."

Lena speaks up.

"Then, why did you also bring a fucking serving spoon and wink at us?"

"I had something in my eye and you're delusional."

It's now Kara's turn.

"Are you sweet potato bating us?"

"Hey, you two can see whatever you want in the dish, a sunflower, a kettle, fingerling best friends… just as long as it's not two lead women in a loving, respectful, romantic relationship."

A red-eyed Kara jumps out of her chair, grabs the head waiter by the neck and hoists him in the air.

"Enough of this BS, bring us the Rao damn sweet potatoes, now!"

The head waiter struggles and gasps.

"Okay, okay, they're in the back, I'll bring them out."

Kara tosses him in the kitchen and returns to her seat. Lena makes an observation.

"Thanks, love, I hate liars…"

Kara gulps suddenly. Lena pats her hand.

"But, not enough to become a caricature villain over it."

Kara smiles and hugs Lena until the head waiter returns with the actual sweet potatoes. Lena takes the bowl.

"Thank you."

"Choke and die, bitches!"

As he storms off, Kara gets up to go after him but Lena pulls her back down and hands her a spoon.

"Never mind him, he's not worth it, let's put something delightful on our tongues, shall we?"

The two dig in and are ecstatic over the taste. The sweet potatoes more than live up to their reputation.

"Mmm, this is too good to be a side dish, it totally needs to be an entree."

"Much more satisfying than crappy ham or sausage."

"The mixed in cranberries complement it perfectly without overpowering the sweet potatoes or owning the pecans as slaves."

"Now, I have had exceptional side dishes before but this delectable combination is explosive."

Kara is giddy as she dances in her seat and grabs a hold of Lena's hands.

"Mmm, it melts on your tongue."

Lena pulls Kara closer and nuzzles her.

"And bursts with unexpected flavor."

The two ignore the head waiter as they kiss.

"I never knew it could be like this, Lena!"

"I want more, Kara, more!"

They close their eyes and scream together.

"COME INSIDE MY MOUTH, SWEET POTATOES…"

As the women gasp for air, the head waiter rocks uncomfortably on his heels.

"Uh, yeah, um, do you ladies need extra napkins?

"No, no, we're good."

"We are sooooo good."

"Who knew such seemingly incompatible items could turn out to be so perfect together?"

"It's that rare, magical mixture."

"It's called chemistry, darling."

"I've tried really hard to find chemistry in other dishes but this dish is delish, bish!"

The head waiter rubs his forehead and sighs.

"So, ladies, are we ready for the check?"

Lena is greedily licking her fingers as Kara delights in another bite. The brunette speaks first.

"Actually, we would like another order of sweet potatoes."

The blonde moans in agreement.

"This is way better than pizza and potstickers!"

The head waiter takes a deep breath and delivers the bad news.

"Yeah, um, about that… you are currently eating the last of it."

Both women's eyes widen in horror.

"WHAT?"

"NO!"

"Sorry."

"What is the meaning of this?"

"Why is this happening?"

"We apologize, but we are changing up the menu, moving on to different things."

"But, we love THIS thing."

"WE EMOJI HEART SWEET POTATOES."

"These are the best sweet potatoes in the entire world."

"In the entire universe!"

"Only you two enjoy them and a small but vocal group of customers."

Lena glares at the waiter.

"You do recognize as customers, we patronize your establishment?"

"True, but we're hoping to attract a younger, straighter customer now."

"And, how is that working for you considering that your cafe has been open for nearly three years and is barely a quarter full on what should be a busy night?"

"We blame the writers-slash-busboys."

"That's a cheap and easy out and not really addressing the heart of the matter."

"We will be closing temporarily to remodel and hire a new chef but we will reopen in the spring."

"Are you keeping the rest of the staff?"

"As far as we know."

"Doing that essentially ensures that the changes will only be superficial."

Kara offers her thoughts.

"Slapping a different coat of paint on the walls and hiring a similar, has-been 90s chef to give his take on the same old pork chop is not going to work."

"We'll be having a grand re-opening party with plenty of cute dog photo-ops, circus performers, and charity events to distract and entertain new customers."

"Do you truly think that will be enough?"

"People are morons, they will swallow anything."

"Yes, they are, but for how long?"

"Long enough for them to forget all about the sweet potatoes just like they did the Kit-Kat soufflé and the fish tacos."

"So, basically, you're giving yourself enough time to spin shit into sugar cookies without cleaning up the actual shit?"

"We only need to stay open for another year, surely you can find something else on the menu that is just as tasty?"

"Nope."

"Hard pass."

The head waiter hopelessly looks at the kitchen.

"Hold on, I'll be right back…"

He darts away and returns moments later with another vegetable dish.

"The chef urges you to try the Lames peas, on the house."

Both women stare with disinterest at the offering.

"Ugh, mushy peas, gross!"

"We're never in the mood for that… even if you mixed them in the sweet potatoes."

The waiter points to a Saturnian sriracha sauce on the side.

"What if we offered a variety of sauces to make it more palatable?"

"It doesn't matter what kind of fancy sauce you cover them in, mushy peas is still the base."

"But, we are ready to spend months and months and months trying different recipes to create the perfect peas for you."

"That makes absolutely no sense whatsoever, you are willing to waste time on the peas at the expense of your other dishes when you already have a proven commodity with the delicious sweet potatoes but, rather than admit defeat, you want to force the peas down the throats of your few remaining customers until they gag?"

"That's the plan."

"Winner business model, especially with peak restaurants out there!"

Kara smiles in agreement.

"Look, man, you can dress up the peas however you want, put a sparkler in them, add a giant banana, give them a hero name, but we are not and never will be interested."

"Then, you are racist against peas!"

"Not at all, you are totally missing the point, we generally appreciate peas, but these mushy peas do not work."

Now defensive and pissed, the head waiter surveys the room.

"Other people seem to be enjoying them."

Instead of raising her voice, Lena lowers it.

"Yes, all three of them… and they're your family members."

"Okay, how about we will give you the sweet potato recipe and you can make it yourself at home?"

"Even though we have… an oven of our own… we don't particularly want to make it ourselves."

"Yeah, we work really hard all day and we're tired."

"That is why we pay money to come to a cafe like this and have it made for us, just like everyone else does."

"One final option, maybe we can continue to covertly feed you sweet potato tidbits behind the cafe after hours?"

"Sorry, that's insulting and malicious and rude."

Both women get up to leave.

"Be sure to let us know if the sweet potatoes return fully on the menu and then we will be back to frequent this establishment."

The head waiter calls after them.

"An occasional crumb is better than nothing, ladies!"

Lena reflects for a second.

"I profoundly disagree, sometimes you need to hold out for something more substantial instead of settling for simple scraps."

Kara turns to Lena and kisses her deeply.

"And, that's why we're super together."

The two women, hand-in-hand, walk out the door.

 _ **Author's note**_ : This was something on my mind I had to write while stuck at an airport. I'll return to _Her Red Light_ soon. We're nearly half-way through S3 and I can no longer support this show's blatant bullshit. However, I will forever support Supercorp. Firing Kreisberg is a positive step in the right direction but it is also putting a tiny bandage over a hemorrhaging wound. Unless Supergirl does a complete 180' from what they're selling now, sayonara!


End file.
